American Parenting

As a follow up to my post yesterday, here is a link to a very interesting piece on American parenting...

Maeve's new bear

Molly's Christmas scarf... which she moments later destroyed.

Opening presents with Grandma and Grandpa M.

Maeve and Molly

Maeve's Christmas dress

This year's Christmas card picture

Before Molly ate the antlers

Everything I needed to know, I most certainly didn't learn in Kindergarten.

I’m convinced that the predominant reason that people have a second child is to prove to themselves that they know how to deal with a baby. Even though Zack and I are dead set on only having Maeve, I find myself constantly in an internal dialogue about what I would do differently the next time.

1. I would have swaddled less… Maeve is seven months old and can’t sleep for more than an hour if she isn’t bound up in the Kiddopotamus SwaddleMe Wrap, aka, the baby straightjacket.


2. We would have stayed away from the swing as a sleep device… Maeve will only sleep in my arms, the car, or that damn swing. She’s so heavy now that we burn through eight D batteries a week.


3. I would have offered a pacifier much, much earlier… Maeve won’t take one at all but needs the breast or my finger off and on all night, making sleep a bit of a joke.


4. I think I would have introduced co-sleeping earlier… Maeve isn’t interested in sleeping in our bed. I would love to have that option as a last resort.


5. I would have gotten Zack more involved in the nighttime and naptime routine… Maeve falls apart if I’m not there.

That said, there are many things I would repeat with this imaginary second baby. In particular, I’m very proud of the fact that we don’t let Maeve cry it out. I know many will say that her sleep problems are attributed to the fact that I go to her every time she cries in the night. That may be true, in fact, I’m sure it is! But lets examine what’s at stake here. Why does Maeve cry? Because it’s her only method of communication and simply because she needs something. She’s too cold, too hot, uncomfortable, hungry, wet, frightened, or just plain lonely. And don’t tell me that she’s manipulating me. She can’t even make the connection between pain and whacking herself in the face with a block and you’re going to tell me she’s working some calculated scheme to get me out of bed at night? Come on, people. Anyway, by letting her cry it out I’m not teaching her how to make herself warmer or cooler or more comfortable. She won’t learn to straighten her blankets or change her diaper. No matter how long I let her sob alone she will never just get up and get herself a snack. And although, if left long enough, she would likely get too tired and too frustrated to continue feeling frightened or alone, what am I really teaching her by letting her cry it out? That I’m not coming. That’s it. I’m teaching her that although I know she’s crying in an attempt to ask for someone’s help, no one is coming. I don’t see that to be a valuable lesson.

The whole principle behind attachment parenting is that it fosters a very confident child. If she knows you’re always there we she needs you, she is more confident and therefore more comfortable venturing out alone when she is older. This makes true, intuitive sense to me. I will admit that at 9:45, 11:10, 12:40, 1:22, and 4:30 this morning my theory felt a bit shaky but I really feel like I’m doing the right thing.

On a lighter, messier note, Maeve has entered the fabulously colorful world of finger foods. Enjoy…

Pretty proud of herself....

Dessert Island Discs

If I ever record an album of covers, it will contain the following tracks:

Across the Universe – The Beatles
Nietzche’s Eyes – Paula Cole
And So Is Love – Kate Bush
The Other Side – David Gray
Easy – Lionel Richie
So Unsexy – Alanis Morissette
Putting the Damage On – Tori Amos
Blue – Joni Mitchell
Rabbit In Your Headlights – U.N.K.L.E.
Let Go – Frou Frou
Do What You Have to Do – Sarah McLachlan
One Flight Down – Norah Jones
Talk Show Host – Radiohead
Wild Horses – Rolling Stones
Time – Tom Waits
Feelin’ Alright – Joe Cocker


If I was auditioning for American Idol I’d sing I Drove All Night by Celine Dion. I’m serious… I would!

YEAH, SNOW!!!

It’s finally snowing!!! I’m so excited.

My husband is from Grand Rapids, Michigan. That’s less than five hours north of here. He and his parents like to pretend that Indiana is some sort of desert, snowless, wasteland. So, not only do I love when it snows here just because I love when it snows here, I love when it snows here because Zack and his parents claim it never snows here… unlike the frozen tundra that is Michigan’s west coast!

Ha! Take that, Militos!

It’s snowing, it’s snowing!

Woo hoo!!

View from the back porch

View from the front window

View from our front porch

View from our front porch 2

Our big pine

An afterthought...

Erin inspired me to post my Thanksgiving menu… thanks, E! The Abbotts and Militos know how to party…

Starter:
Champagne Pate with herb water crackers
Polish Roses
Good old cheese and crackers

Main course:
Sage rubbed roasted turkey
Pork, sage, and onion stuffing
Mashed potatoes and gravy
Stuffed golden acorn squash

Desert:
Baked pears with caramel sauce

Booze:
Mimosas
Dry Sherry
Red wine
White wine
More red wine
Warstiener
New Castle
Guinness
Terre Haute Velvet (a whole separate story!!)
Port
Single Malt Scotch
Irish coffee

Turkey Day.

Zack brought home the most beautiful little Norfolk Island Pine for me yesterday. We’re not getting a big tree since we’ll be in Colorado for Christmas but we both love Christmas decorations so much he thought the little pine would be a great consolation. He was right; it’s adorable. It will be the centerpiece of my Christmas Mantle. It has to be otherwise the cat will eat the damn thing. I think Maeve and I may spend the afternoon dragging all the decorations up from the basement. So Happy Holidays, folks!

Thanksgiving was marvelous. (Photos to follow) My parents came in from CO and spent the week with us. Zack and I even went out on a date while Maeve went to the mall with Grandma and Grandpa! Oh, and no need to call social services regarding the baby and beer photos. It was all in good fun.

Happy Turkey Day!

Wanna share, Dad?

Gimme a sip!

Mmmm.

Table is set.

I seem to have lost something...

Zack whipping up some Polish Roses

Let's eat!

 

Maeve's first bite of turkey

 

Giving it another try!

 

Party!