Left Behind... I hope.
WARNING: I suspect I am about to offend some folks. I am celebrating my right as an American to speak freely. You have been warned.
I was watching one of the national morning shows today while nursing Maeve before her nap. I was introduced to Jerry Jenkins and Tim LaHaye, the authors of the Left Behind series of… stuff. So here we have the Good Cop-Bad Cop version of evangelical Christians. Tim LaHaye looks a bit like George Hamilton with strange colored, sprayed hair. He is the “You’re all going to HELL!!!” Bad Cop while Jenkins is a mild mannered, young-Santa type who declares his understanding of those who will not agree with him. He is the Good Cop; he appeals to the younger, more self-conscious Christian, while crazy Ol’ LaHaye is wrangling in the ultraconservative thumpers. What a lovely balance. I found the whole thing quite distressing.
Look, my problem isn’t the popularity of some fictional books based loosely on the Christian scripture. My problem is that we live in a society where an overwhelming percentage of the population is so junked up and watered down that their faith is heavily wrapped up in novels about the apocalypse and Mel Gibson movies!! It’s interpretation at best but closer to fiction, people! Like Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings! Good versus evil! Superman, Star Wars! Teenage Mutant freakin’ Ninja Turtles!!
So I looked at the Left Behind website. I expected to see a prolific amount of marketing for the ‘Best Selling Series.’ Oh no. What I saw was a website claiming the apocalypse and fate of all those who don’t find salvation. They offer a compendium to the books to help the poor, ignorant reader. Here’s a quote: In this reader-friendly resource, two respected theologians respond to recent attacks on Left Behind's interpretation of Bible prophecy, providing clear historical and biblical support for specific end-times events described in the novels. Gain a deeper appreciation of these phenomenal bestsellers—and a deeper understanding of earth's cataclysmic final days!
As I continued my creepy link hopping, I wandered onto a prayer board. I read some of the most self-serving, egocentric rubbish I’ve ever seen. “Help me loose weight.” “Help me find a boyfriend.” “Why doesn’t she like me anymore?” Drivel. And then I happened upon the Kids’ area of the Left Behind website. In this section the authors claim to have the answers to the following questions:
Great encouragement? How ‘bout hellacious nightmares!! I expect I’ll have nightmares about Doctor LaHaye!
This past weekend we went to my in-laws’ for their annual family and friends get-together, Cannoli Day. It’s a great family tradition. Everyone gathers to make Grandma Rose’s cannoli, using her old boards and rollers, etc. Tons of food, about a hundred people. Lots of fun. My father-in-law rises at five or six in the morning and begins preparing the cannoli dough. As we’re chatting over coffee, he tells me to avoid the subject of Maeve’s Christening or baptism or whatever. We’re not having either. Why would we? I’m an atheist and Zack is a very vague, shaky, non-practicing, former Catholic. Tiny, my father-in-law, suggested that if anyone ask about it, I lie. How very Christian. I asked my mother-in-law if it was really important to her that we have Maeve baptized. She said she wished I would just do it for the sake of appearances. I told her that would be an affront to her religion and that I wanted no part of that. I told her I was not prepared to make that kind of decision for Maeve. If she wants to be baptized when she’s old enough to decide for herself, then I will support her thoroughly. To my great disappointment, no one asked about it. I was ready. Perhaps that’s why no one asked.
I was watching one of the national morning shows today while nursing Maeve before her nap. I was introduced to Jerry Jenkins and Tim LaHaye, the authors of the Left Behind series of… stuff. So here we have the Good Cop-Bad Cop version of evangelical Christians. Tim LaHaye looks a bit like George Hamilton with strange colored, sprayed hair. He is the “You’re all going to HELL!!!” Bad Cop while Jenkins is a mild mannered, young-Santa type who declares his understanding of those who will not agree with him. He is the Good Cop; he appeals to the younger, more self-conscious Christian, while crazy Ol’ LaHaye is wrangling in the ultraconservative thumpers. What a lovely balance. I found the whole thing quite distressing.
Look, my problem isn’t the popularity of some fictional books based loosely on the Christian scripture. My problem is that we live in a society where an overwhelming percentage of the population is so junked up and watered down that their faith is heavily wrapped up in novels about the apocalypse and Mel Gibson movies!! It’s interpretation at best but closer to fiction, people! Like Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings! Good versus evil! Superman, Star Wars! Teenage Mutant freakin’ Ninja Turtles!!
So I looked at the Left Behind website. I expected to see a prolific amount of marketing for the ‘Best Selling Series.’ Oh no. What I saw was a website claiming the apocalypse and fate of all those who don’t find salvation. They offer a compendium to the books to help the poor, ignorant reader. Here’s a quote: In this reader-friendly resource, two respected theologians respond to recent attacks on Left Behind's interpretation of Bible prophecy, providing clear historical and biblical support for specific end-times events described in the novels. Gain a deeper appreciation of these phenomenal bestsellers—and a deeper understanding of earth's cataclysmic final days!
As I continued my creepy link hopping, I wandered onto a prayer board. I read some of the most self-serving, egocentric rubbish I’ve ever seen. “Help me loose weight.” “Help me find a boyfriend.” “Why doesn’t she like me anymore?” Drivel. And then I happened upon the Kids’ area of the Left Behind website. In this section the authors claim to have the answers to the following questions:
- What will happen when Jesus returns?
- How will God take care of things on earth during the end times?
- What will heaven be like?
Great encouragement? How ‘bout hellacious nightmares!! I expect I’ll have nightmares about Doctor LaHaye!
This past weekend we went to my in-laws’ for their annual family and friends get-together, Cannoli Day. It’s a great family tradition. Everyone gathers to make Grandma Rose’s cannoli, using her old boards and rollers, etc. Tons of food, about a hundred people. Lots of fun. My father-in-law rises at five or six in the morning and begins preparing the cannoli dough. As we’re chatting over coffee, he tells me to avoid the subject of Maeve’s Christening or baptism or whatever. We’re not having either. Why would we? I’m an atheist and Zack is a very vague, shaky, non-practicing, former Catholic. Tiny, my father-in-law, suggested that if anyone ask about it, I lie. How very Christian. I asked my mother-in-law if it was really important to her that we have Maeve baptized. She said she wished I would just do it for the sake of appearances. I told her that would be an affront to her religion and that I wanted no part of that. I told her I was not prepared to make that kind of decision for Maeve. If she wants to be baptized when she’s old enough to decide for herself, then I will support her thoroughly. To my great disappointment, no one asked about it. I was ready. Perhaps that’s why no one asked.
posted by Corrina & Zack at 9:46 AM
1 Comments:
God, I didn't even think of that... Tim's family is staunch catholic, mine is baptist... For the wedding we were married by a judge. If we have a baby, that is going to be a whole other struggle. *ugh*
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