And the atheist prayed to God...

And the atheist prayed to God….

Dear God,
I know, I know.  I don’t believe in you so why on earth (your green earth??) would I pray?!  Hey, you’re the omnipotent, omniscient one.  You don’t know?  Well, I’ll tell you why.  Because I haven’t slept for more than two hours in a row for almost three weeks.  That’s why.  Please, God, help my baby sleep!!  I’ll make you a deal.  If you get Maeve to sleep for more than four hours straight, I’ll be charitable and selfless for a month.  Oh wait.  I have a five month old kid.  I’m already charitable and selfless all the time.  Let’s try again.  If you help Maeve sleep for four hours straight, I’ll read that Life Together book Ann gave me.  Hell, if you get Maeve to sleep through the night, I’ll read the goddamn bible!!

Love,
Corrina