Most anticipated update ever, aka, longest ever wait for a blog post

So, I'm fine. I mean really fine. I wasn't but I am now.

To summarize,

LEEP procedure.... most horrendous experience of my life*
Recovery.... ridiculously smooth
Lab results.... indicated healthy cells behind the dysplasia
Follow up.... clean bill of healthy
Six month follow up.... normal pap

*Apparently there's a little known, little understood condition called Local Anesthesia Resistance. Yeah, that's right. The anesthesia administered to my cervix before the procedure didn't take. When did we figure this out, you ask? Oh, I think it dawned on Dr. Feeney that something was amiss when I leapt four to six feet in the air when he sliced in to my cervix with his little electrified wire. Mmm hmm. You read that right. So, naturally, he stopped immediately and proceded to pump me full of about three times the normal amount of Lidocaine necessary for this kind of procedure. He waited for ten or fifteen minutes to let the Lidocaine do its thing then, back to business. I think I only flew about three feet the second time as I was a bit on the tired side by this point.

After a couple more attempts, some smelling salts, a thirty minute time out during which the sweating and shaking eventually subsided, he finally finished the procedure with scissors. Dr. Feeney informed me that he'd "never seen anything like it" and if I ever had to have another LEEP procedure it would be done at the hospital, under general anesthesia. The end result was a walnut-sized chunk of my cervix in a plastic receptical. Of course I asked to see it.

To my sheer amazement, I felt completely normal about forty minutes later. I was astounded. I returned for a checkup less than two weeks later at which time Dr. Feeney informed me that my cervix had completely regenerated. Who knew that little mystery button is really a starfish leg?

So six months later, here I sit, free of naughty-cells.